Most people, I assume, have a Facebook account. Through it they've made new friends, found old friends, and stay connected with long time friends. It seems to be a great gathering place for "friends." What exactly is a friend? This definition has changed in the past 10 years as seen in the dictionary.com definition below.
friend [frend] noun
1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter:
friends of the Boston Symphony.
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile:
Who goes there? Friend or foe?
4. a member of the same nation, party, etc.
5. (initial capital letter) a member of the Religious Society of Friends; a Quaker.
6. a person associated with another as a contact on a social media website:
We've never met, but we're Facebook friends.
As of this minute, I have 453 Facebook friends. 5 years ago, I had over 1000 maybe even 2000. I friended everyone I could find who played Facebook games to join armies, request/give lives, trade game items, etc. I've kept very few of the Facebook game friends, as they weren't really "friends" of mine - the few I've kept I've actually found interesting and think we could be real life friends (except one, as there is always an exception to the rule). The majority of the 453 I've actually met in real life. I have most of my friends sorted into 5 main categories - Family, School, River Falls, TOG, and Doctor Who. With the exception of TOG, I've basically met everyone on my sorted lists in the real world.
Now that I've bored you with the background details - what is this post all about? The majority of my Facebook friends are "real" friends - definition #1. Watching what happens to these true friends on Facebook is sometimes disheartening. The internet as a whole allows people to speak their mind more so than they ever would in person. Criticizing, praising, arguing, debating, you name it - things you would never say to your friends or friends of friends in person. I've watched long time true friendships end publicly for the world to see on Facebook over something minor that gets out of hand (usually quickly and the friends of friends mob mentality speeds up the process as everyone chooses a side).
There have been numerous studies on the effects of social media on a person's mood. Some studies were done in the open and some done behind the scenes to unknowing subjects (google Facebook Mood Manipulation Research if you don't know what I'm referring to). What you see on Facebook can influence your mood. They've put in filters, lists, unfollow, unfriend, blocking, and all kinds of ways for you to control what you see/read so you can try and filter out the nonsense and drama, but it's still there. I was part of it until 2 years ago... I made a change. I falter at times, but a majority of the time I stay strong.
When all hope seems to be lost - be hopeful. When all hope seems to be lost - be positive. When all hope seems to be lost - be strong. This was the lesson I learned through Facebook from a long time real life close friend dying of cancer. Yes, he gave us each wave of bad news as things didn't go as planned and he continued to get worse - but every post was accompanied with a new picture of him smiling and telling everyone to love each other. There were a few outbursts of anger (like a rant about an ignorant lady shaming him for parking in a handicap spot) and things like that - but at no time did he post a feel sorry for me post that I've seen a thousand times on Facebook from people for minuscule things. So, because of this - I try to remain hopeful. I may post a rant or two on Facebook - but it's more of an 'airing' of a minor grievance or for comedic purposes - but never a pity post or post with intentions of affecting someone's mood in a detrimental way.
As, I said before - I used to... back when I was sucked into the drama side of Facebook. Your opinion was only a click away from being spread to save the world from itself! You had to comment or post that - it will get likes! It will make the world take your side in your anger! You will feel justified! Maybe? In the end - it's all just empty words on a screen that you would never say in person, and you just lost a "friend" because of your unfiltered drama induced typing spree...
Is it worth it? Just something to think about before you click post next time...
friend [frend] noun
1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter:
friends of the Boston Symphony.
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile:
Who goes there? Friend or foe?
4. a member of the same nation, party, etc.
5. (initial capital letter) a member of the Religious Society of Friends; a Quaker.
6. a person associated with another as a contact on a social media website:
We've never met, but we're Facebook friends.
As of this minute, I have 453 Facebook friends. 5 years ago, I had over 1000 maybe even 2000. I friended everyone I could find who played Facebook games to join armies, request/give lives, trade game items, etc. I've kept very few of the Facebook game friends, as they weren't really "friends" of mine - the few I've kept I've actually found interesting and think we could be real life friends (except one, as there is always an exception to the rule). The majority of the 453 I've actually met in real life. I have most of my friends sorted into 5 main categories - Family, School, River Falls, TOG, and Doctor Who. With the exception of TOG, I've basically met everyone on my sorted lists in the real world.
Now that I've bored you with the background details - what is this post all about? The majority of my Facebook friends are "real" friends - definition #1. Watching what happens to these true friends on Facebook is sometimes disheartening. The internet as a whole allows people to speak their mind more so than they ever would in person. Criticizing, praising, arguing, debating, you name it - things you would never say to your friends or friends of friends in person. I've watched long time true friendships end publicly for the world to see on Facebook over something minor that gets out of hand (usually quickly and the friends of friends mob mentality speeds up the process as everyone chooses a side).
There have been numerous studies on the effects of social media on a person's mood. Some studies were done in the open and some done behind the scenes to unknowing subjects (google Facebook Mood Manipulation Research if you don't know what I'm referring to). What you see on Facebook can influence your mood. They've put in filters, lists, unfollow, unfriend, blocking, and all kinds of ways for you to control what you see/read so you can try and filter out the nonsense and drama, but it's still there. I was part of it until 2 years ago... I made a change. I falter at times, but a majority of the time I stay strong.
When all hope seems to be lost - be hopeful. When all hope seems to be lost - be positive. When all hope seems to be lost - be strong. This was the lesson I learned through Facebook from a long time real life close friend dying of cancer. Yes, he gave us each wave of bad news as things didn't go as planned and he continued to get worse - but every post was accompanied with a new picture of him smiling and telling everyone to love each other. There were a few outbursts of anger (like a rant about an ignorant lady shaming him for parking in a handicap spot) and things like that - but at no time did he post a feel sorry for me post that I've seen a thousand times on Facebook from people for minuscule things. So, because of this - I try to remain hopeful. I may post a rant or two on Facebook - but it's more of an 'airing' of a minor grievance or for comedic purposes - but never a pity post or post with intentions of affecting someone's mood in a detrimental way.
As, I said before - I used to... back when I was sucked into the drama side of Facebook. Your opinion was only a click away from being spread to save the world from itself! You had to comment or post that - it will get likes! It will make the world take your side in your anger! You will feel justified! Maybe? In the end - it's all just empty words on a screen that you would never say in person, and you just lost a "friend" because of your unfiltered drama induced typing spree...
Is it worth it? Just something to think about before you click post next time...
Comments